I was so tired last night. Not ‘tired’ in the sense that I am weary and needed rest. I was tired of dealing with idiots and wasting my time. I stayed in the office until quarter after eight … almost a twelve hour day (unpaid overtime of course) because I had a call set up with a partner in California. My patience was really pushed to the extreme… she didn’t have many answers, couldn’t get to the point straight away – I don’t need another mediocre friend to chit-chat with so cut it and let’s talk business. I now understand what my friend R means when she said she had to learn a lot of ‘sugar-coated tactics’ when she moved from NYC to LA. Sheesh. Makes me appreciate my contact in London so much more when we can separate the ‘how are you’ emails from the the business-related ones. We have great chats, he and I, but only when we have a spare 5 minutes to talk about music therapy. Otherwise, it’s all about answers and negotiation and scheming up ways to fit more of my clients onto his sites…. wish he was in charge of the company’s entire portfolio, he’s an absolute pleasure to work with!
Anyways, I waste too much time whinging. I crept back up to my nest on the top floor and wanted nothing but a glass of dry, almost bitter red wine and the comforting presence of the Catholic church towers looming over my rooftop terrace. But instead I went pee, the phone rang while I was urinating (yeah, sorry if the truth shocks you but that’s pretty much the only time I bother to check for messages because I’m busy enjoying life and creating things and my phone is always on silent mode anyways) and then I had a short conversation whilst washing the dishes.
Another intermediary contacted me. Another human who is very in touch with nature. Another one of those ‘aaaah!’ moments when things fall into place exactly as the should. Like when a songwriter sings something and I think ‘Oh! I couldn’t have said that better myself’ … haha, reminds me of the time I told R ‘yes, sing exactly those harmonies!’ and she looks at me. ‘um, I wasn’t singing.’ Haha. Ooops. So if I hear voices in my head that means I’m mentally deranged, but if I hear music then that’s a (socially) acceptable sign of genius? I don’t understand. Continue reading
So I was at the flea market in Friedrichshain (one of my favourite districts) with a couple travellers on Sunday. We were having lovely chats (don’t we all seek something when we travel?) and being the bird that I am of course I’m distracted by all these cute little shiny things. I bought two bracelets: one tree of life for the left hand and one sparrow for the right. the translation is basically to absorb and channel grounding, alchemical transformation that only Mother Earth can perform and to act / take action quickly like the sparrow – but of course with the greatest of ease and deepest of peace…. because who could be angry at a beautiful singing bird?
Anyways, I can never pass up a stand full of books for one Euro. I admit it, I’m a helpless junkie. Sometimes I can say no to cake or wine – I don’t utterly lack willpower – but oh man. Those €1 books.
One catches my eye as I’m chatting with friends and enjoying live music and I buy it without even looking at its details or synopsis. The singing butcher? Sounds interesting (no pun, really). My friends go off exploring on their own in Neue Heimat while I chill out in the corner with a Pilsner and open the book. The first few pages hit me so powerfully! The author really captured the wisdom and inner struggles and the vulnerability behind strength and — wow.
But I thought maybe I was just having an enlightened Sunday since my meditation and contemplation on Friday and Saturday evening were really powerful.
Nope. Continue reading
Caught in the act is the EN translation.
It smells awful but looks quite pleasing :)
I don’t do visual art but the musical kind! The world certainly needs more beauty in visual or musical form. Please stay tuned for my shows with a couple awesome gals !
Mmmm music will heal the world! :)
Summertime: a yoga class for your voice.
Elaine – splended job! This is my favourite song, or at least one of my favourites, and I deeply enjoy how intensely you read into the areas for play / interpretation / ‘yoga stretching’. Yoga is actually a practice of the breath. Many do asanum (or ‘asanas’ as we say in the West) becuase one cannot understand the breath if the body is full of tension. How can we begin to move the mountain when we are still tied to our own cement shoes?
That’s why I’m getting more into country / bluegrass music actually… I find the intentional, well…. off-key singing of certain nasally vowels creates a beautiful dichotomy for when the throat does open fully to sing, releasing a vibrato that corresponds directly to the mood, to the flow and pressure of air being released.
And THAT is what makes some of Ella’s notes so powerful – it’s not the pitch, it’s not the decibel – it’s her pure, steadfast intention being held in a very soft note, stretching it to its limit like a cat in the sun on a very lazy day and that vibrato is just ringing forth so tightly….
Oh Ella. What a master, what a goddess!
Alright, so I had this magickal encounter with a good friend and fellow yoga practitioner last night. She and I played guitar and jammed out and just… well, enjoying transforming bad things into life lessons via music. Music! Such a great alchemical tool.
As you can presume from the lyrics below, yes it’s about a guy who isn’t really ‘abusive’ in a verbal or physical way…. Just basically egoistical and selfish, and I feel that’s disrespectful. He’ll say he’s too tired to meet up with me one evening, and then the next day tell me he went out to some bar until 2 or 3 AM. He’ll use me to listen to all his moaning and rants, or to cuddle with and keep him company – then he’ll run off to sleep with another girl. Excuse me? I don’t care what he does with his life, but I should be given some kind of priority as a sign of mere respect.
Note: his name is in the song, I’ve changed it to respect his reputation. But I won’t be censoring at live shows! Hahaha.
Ode to [Name Here]
it’s hard to realize something’s not right
it’s almost like i’d rather put up a fight
so that it feels at least like i’ve tried
that i gave damn, or that i cried
but the truth is, it’s plain to see
i’m too much for you, and you’re not enough for me
oh my dear [name here], you think you’re the best
think you can do everything and more than the rest
well listen, sweet baby, it’s been fun and it’s been great
but i need a little more than just a pal or a mate
i know who you are, how you act and behave
and it just won’t work with me this way. Continue reading